- Well years ago, when you got to be a certain age, they all retired, but they retired early, and they didn't do the exercises, and I guess that's what made them go faster.

- Well, finally they understand that epidemiologist doesn't mean a doctor who treats skin problems, so.

(laughs) - Gradually, I stopped worrying about it because I realized, while you're skating, it's heaven here on Earth.

- Inhale, lift up.

(gentle music) (upbeat music) - Welcome to "getting dot OLDER", the new TV series where Americans over 50 share intimate, personal revelations about aging.

I'm your host, Roberto Mighty.

What you've just seen are regular people, people like you and me, who have responded to our unique survey questions about aging.

As you watch me interviewing people across the country, we're asking you watching at home to participate online by answering questions, sharing stories, and uploading your photos and videos to our official website, gettingdotolder.com.

In this episode of "getting dot OLDER" we're going to meet Pat, the restaurateur, Carolyn, the yoga teacher, Christie, the ice skater, and Jan, the musician.

We're gonna test your boomer IQ and get some advice from an expert on nutrition.

Okay, on with the show.

This is it.

(upbeat music) Pat is the patriarch of an extended family in Boston, Massachusetts.

He founded his hospital-based coffee shop about 40 years ago.

Even though he's now officially retired, he still comes into work several hours a week.

I wanted to find out why.

- Hi, my name is Pasquale Bruno.

I run the coffee shop here at the Brigham and Women's Hospital for the last 39 years.

And my son runs the business now.

I gave it to him approximately a little over 10 years ago, and he's been running it fantastically since.

A lot of catering, a lot of food.

Everybody looks forward to us.

(gentle piano music) Getting older still means, I'm still gonna get up and go do a little bit.

I have to.

It's just something that I enjoy doing, and if I stayed at home, I'd be reading and falling asleep in between times.

That's why I know I have to get up, do something and I kept moving, so it gets my body going.

(gentle piano music) The one thing I loved about getting older is when I see all these young doctors that used to be young and they come in and they remember me and think, wow, you're still here, and I'm so happy to see you here.

(gentle piano music) (laughs) I knew I was old when, probably when you wake up in the morning and your body doesn't work fast the way it used to work, like you have to take time to put your socks on.

Make sure your movements are right before you fall on the floor.

So you have to be very careful.

You just don't jump and do things.

(gentle piano music) I'm just trying to think what would be that I would change my life.

I know because I've had a hip operation, I've had shoulder surgery done.

I've had melanoma.

Probably just thinking, I hope I can continue going, which I have been able to do, by going over all these bad things that happened to me.

But I still think how nice it is to live, to be able to do things that I am at this age.

(gentle piano music) They were just like, make sure that they worked and they came home and that's about it.

They didn't go out and have a good time for themselves.

Their good time was making sure that we were.

But today's standards, everybody has time to go out and have a good time for themselves.

- [Interviewer] Does that include you?

- I'm sorry?

- [Interviewer] Does that include you?

- That includes me.

- [Interviewer] What do you like to do for a good time?

- I like to go to football games, which I have gone to for the last 30 years, to the Patriots.

I like dancing with my wife.

I like going to movies.

I just like to go to shows and enjoy myself.

(gentle piano music) Make sure that they have a good life and make sure, my dad made sure that I had a good life, so I wanted to make sure that they're taken care of, so when I go, they're well-prepared.

(gentle piano music) Well, years ago, when you got to be a certain age, they all retired, but they retired early and they didn't do the exercises, and I guess that's what made them go faster.

To me, I think the more you work, the longer you do something, you keep your body active.

- Since we filmed Pat the restaurateur, the restaurant he founded inside a hospital 46 years ago, that's now owned by his son, Pat Jr. Well, the restaurant has closed for walk-in business, but it's still in operation for catering, and judging by the letters in the hospital newsletter, people miss Pat and Pat Jr very much.

"getting dot OLDER" is conducting some interviews online.

This allows us to share more stories from all over.

(upbeat jazz music) Our next story takes us to Kansas City, Missouri, KCMO, home of Kansas City jazz, the Chiefs and the Royals, and Kansas City barbecue.

It's also the home of Carolyn.

Carolyn is the matriarch of an extended family based in KC.

She has children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

Carolyn retired from the legal field after many years and now teaches yoga, remains very active in her church, and is a homemaker with her third husband, Ron.

Carolyn, what's the thing you love most about your age now?

- The thing I love most about my age is the freedom.

I'm retired, of course, so I don't go to a job.

I can sleep late, if I want to, very seldom do though.

I'm a morning person, but you know, I'm free.

I feel like I'm free to do anything that I want to do or can afford to do.

(laughs) - (laughs) So if you could go back in time and counsel your younger self, what would you tell your younger self?

- Young Carolyn, don't get married.

(Roberto laughing) - Amazing.

Not a single man has said that, but so many women have said that.

Why would you say to your younger self don't get married?

- Well, and you know, I kind of knew this in the back of my head, but you know, I kinda pushed it back.

But I knew that I wasn't necessarily marriage material because in the time that I grew up, you know, the thing was, you know, you get married and you have kids, you know, that whole bit.

And this was before women's lib, so you did what, you know, you followed what your husband said, and all this kind of crap.

Anyway, you know, I had big dreams to do so many things that I put on the back burner.

- When you were a child, you wanted to be, and now you are?

- When I was a child, I wanted to be a famous dancer and dancing, and go to New York and dance on the Broadway stage.

Now that I am older, and not so much the dance part Now that I am older, and not so much the dance part but channeling that into what I do do, which is yoga, but channeling that into what I do do, which is yoga, you know, that's very satisfying for me.

Dancers can't do that forever.

There comes a point where, you know, they cannot do that.

But I can do yoga until they throw dirt in my face.

(laughs) - The most profound life transition I ever had was?

- I think the most profound life transition I had was when I lost my son.

I had was when I lost my son.

That is something that just turns your world upside down, because it's so, that's not the way it's supposed to be.

You know, your children, you're supposed to, you know, go before your children and so when that happens, that that's a life changing thing that basically you never get over.

You know, you learn to live with it, but you never get over it.

- What happened?

And how did you deal with it?

I'm asking you this because unfortunately, I am meeting a number of people who have lost a child, and I can't imagine how folks go on after that.

How did you deal with it?

- He was involved in drugs and he was staying in, I had an apartment building and he was staying.

It was the same year that Ron and I got married.

And there had been some calls, you know, because of the traffic that was coming in and out of that apartment building.

And so I happened to know somebody on the police force and they said, you know, you better stop this or we'll shut down properties, you know, when they recognize that drug activity was going on.

You know, so I went down and I talked to him.

I said, okay, you gotta stop this, and miraculously, he did.

And that's what got him killed, because he refused to deal with the, you know, drug dealers anymore.

And they weren't trying to necessarily kill him.

He and his cousin were in the apartment and the drug dealer was trying to shoot his cousin and my son stepped in front of him, and so he was killed instantly.

So yeah, it wasn't something we expected, you know.

I really thought that he was gonna be, you know, getting himself together and getting his life together.

It's something you just really don't believe at first.

It's hard to come to grips with it, and unbelievable pain in your heart.

All I can say is that my faith brought me through a lot of that.

My faith and the people in my church, you know, of course they surrounded me and, you know, were there for me.

And of course, you know, of course the rest of the family were all devastated too.

But he, there were times that I would actually see him even after he was gone, you know?

So I think the biggest thing that I think that I can say that got me through was my faith.

- Were there particular passages in the Bible that gave you strength?

- Philippians 4:13.

"I can do all things through God who strengthens me."

- Carolyn says her faith, family, and church got her through the most unimaginably difficult part of her life.

What gets you through the tough times?

Please write and let me know.

(upbeat music) ♪ Can't you see that look in my eye ♪ ♪ We're running out of time ♪ ♪ Running out of time ♪ ♪ Can you hear it when I talk to you ♪ ♪ There's something going ♪ (ice scratching) (gentle upbeat music) - Christie is a former gold medalist ice skater who now teaches the sport in Boston.

She is also a professional portrait painter, illustrator, filmmaker, and visual artist.

With so much going on in her life, I asked her question number 17, what I'm about now is?

- Well, I've decided that I would like to draw every single person I know.

I just love drawing people, and when you draw them, you get to know them better, and I think it's so amazing.

So I figure that'll definitely keep me busy for the rest of my life.

(ice scratching) It feels like flying.

And when I first started, I used to worry because I thought, heaven is supposed to be a place that is better than any other place people go, and I don't think I could be very happy there.

They apparently don't have skating rinks, and I worried about that a lot.

And gradually I stopped worrying about it because I realized, while you're skating, it's heaven here on Earth.

- What are you grateful for?

I often ask people this question.

Here's what Christie has to say.

- I'm grateful to still be able to skate.

I'm sorry that I'm not jumping anymore.

I'd like to think that it's just because I'm out of practice, and that if I got back in practice and got myself back into the condition I had when I was 18 and practicing every day that I would do just as well, but I suspect that's not the case.

- What was the time or event that completely changed you and your view of the world?

I asked Christie question number 10.

The most profound life transition I ever had was?

- I suppose the most profound life transition I had was when my son was born because suddenly a piece of your heart is outside of yourself, and as all parents know, for the rest of our lives, almost the more important part of our heart isn't here where we are, it's wherever our children are.

- Questions of faith and religion often become more profound as we get older.

I asked Christie question number 13.

Religion is?

- Religion is whatever set of beliefs one sets to guide one's life by.

I think all of us, all of us can agree on the existence of gravity, and it's mysterious, I can't understand it, but we can either work with it, or if you try to defy it in skating, it'll take you down in an instant.

But if you learn how to balance, it will help you, and it will support you, and it'll hold you up.

And keeping the balance is the thing you work for in skating and in dance, but it seems to me that that's really what the whole business of living is, is keeping one's balance.

(upbeat music) - We met Jan in the first episode.

He's the guy who lives in San Diego and is into classic cars.

He's also a guitarist and singer songwriter.

I asked Jan how his parents came to America.

- My parents were from the Czech Republic.

Actually, they snuck out of Czech Republic when the Russians invaded.

They went into Austria in the dark of night, just like "Hogan's Heroes," if anybody remembers those episodes.

And then they paid somebody to bring them out of Austria and then into London, and from London, my sister was born there.

So I had one sister before I even knew it.

They took the first Queen Elizabeth ocean liner over to New York, and in 1952, my father and mother became US citizens through Ellis Island.

- I asked Jan question number four.

The thing I hate most about my age now is?

- The thing I now dislike most about my current age is, and it dawned on me because it started happening almost routinely is being called sir, and in any kind of conversation.

To me, that's almost code, and maybe I'm too sensitive, but sir, I think it's a sign of respect, but it's also a sign of, oh, you know, you're gray haired and maybe you're wise, maybe you're not.

But when I hear "Thank you, sir," at the grocery store or something else like that, I said, okay, I'm officially an elder statesman here.

(Roberto laughing) - Can I just clarify that, because are you, are you implying or am I just inferring that you feel patronized to some degree when people call you sir, that maybe they're writing you off?

Or am I just making that up?

- I would say, I don't think I'm feeling patronized by it.

It just brings home that I'm, and many times it's meant with respect, but it also, I think for me, when a younger person says, "Oh, thank you, sir," or "Good day, sir," or something like that, it's not disrespectful, not disrespectful.

It just to me amplifies the generational divide, and I'm on the older side of the divide.

- The "getting dot OLDER" series includes expert advice for people over 50.

Our growing number of topics will include medicine, elder care, financial services, nutrition, geriatrics, estate planning, and lifelong learning.

Please join me in welcoming Dr. Walter Willett to this episode.

- So I'm Walter Willett and I'm a physician specialized in internal medicine, and an epidemiologist.

I work at Harvard Chan School of Public Health, where I was Chair of the Department of Nutrition for 25 years, and mostly I do research on trying to understand how what we eat affects our health in the long run.

- That's fantastic, great.

You must be a very popular guy at a cocktail party.

(laughs) - (laughs) Well, sometimes not.

(laughs) If they wanna hear any of that.

(laughs) - I bet people come up to you say, "Doctor, I don't want to bother you but," then they give you the list of symptoms, right?

- (laughs) Well, finally they understand that epidemiologist doesn't mean a doctor who treats skin problems, so.

That's what we used to get.

(laughs) - Epi-dermatologist maybe.

- Right, yes.

(laughs) - That's great, great.

Well, my first question is a little informal, but I'm 66 and I've noticed that I just can't eat the foods I used to.

I mean, not all of them.

You know, certain things like, you know, raw onions, hot chili peppers.

In other words, all the things that taste great, you know.

In all seriousness, is this, there's this sort of idea some people have that when you can no longer digest something, it's the body's way of saying you don't need that nutrition.

Is there any truth to that at all?

- You know, that's the first time I've heard that lie.

(both laughing) But you have better ears than I do for what's out there, so.

No, our body still needs good nutrition, maybe even a little bit more as we get older, it's especially important.

But it's also true that our digestive system does change somewhat over time, perhaps most importantly our stomach, well, for many people, our stomach stops secreting enough acid to digest food.

We call it achlorhydria, and it can make a number of foods harder to digest.

Very importantly, it impairs the absorption vitamin B12, and it can lead to very serious vitamin B12 deficiency.

So we have to keep that in mind.

Many people over age 50 even do need a B12 supplement to counteract that reduction in absorption of B12.

But other whole foods, sometimes high amounts of fat are absorbed less efficiently, less well as people get older.

And basically, we need to listen to our bodies and adjust our diet a little bit.

Very often it means that we need to prepare the food a little bit differently, maybe cook it longer, chop it up more, and sometimes maybe make a smoothie to accommodate, especially sort of more raw, less cooked, high fiber foods.

Of course, many people have dental problems later in life as well that makes it more difficult to chew food, and need to, again, change how we prepare our food.

But it doesn't reduce our need for good nutrition.

For most people, I actually think it's reasonable to take just a basic multivitamin, multimineral preparation to be sure that we get enough nutrients.

It's sort of a nutritional safety net.

It doesn't replace a good diet, but even well-intended, conscientious people sometimes have some nutritional holes in their diet, and it provides a safety net.

- We'll hear more from Dr. Walter Willett later in this season.

(upbeat jazz music) (upbeat music) This season on "getting dot OLDER", we're gonna meet Inderpreet, Bert, Jessica, Yulan, Howard, and Charles.

(upbeat music) Thanks so much.

Really looking forward to hearing your responses.

Go to our website and fire up your cell phone, or your laptop, or whatever device you have for recording yourself, and I'm really looking forward to hearing your questions online.

(upbeat music) (gentle music) (gentle upbeat music) (upbeat music)