- This and more coming up on the Whitney Reynolds Show.

- I knew something terrible had happened the night before and I, I'd almost killed myself.

I stood on the ledge ready to jump, took my hands off even to jump and my phone rang.

- If I'm doing this for myself, I already learned that there are others that are lonely and that are trying to reach out for help.

You know, maybe I should try and help them.

It's actually been healing for me.

The more I help, the more I heal.

- And to come from a family who doesn't usually do musical theater, you know, all of them are either doctors, lawyers, or nurses.

And so for me to do theater is very out of the realm of what my family does.

- The Whitney Reynolds Show is supported by Kevin O'Connor Law Firm.

When it comes to your injuries, we take it personally.

Together at Peace Foundation, remembrance, resilience, and comfort creating a hopeful space for those who are grieving.

The C. Thomas Group, residential real estate investment and advisory.

The Respiratory Health Association, clean air and healthy lungs for all.

Joeperillo.com, where you can browse their selection of pre-owned vehicles.

Joe Perillo is based in Chicago and ships all over the country.

Children's Learning Place, a school for our earliest learners dedicated to aiding every child with the power of learning.

And West Real Estate Group, providing multifamily investment in property management services.

The Couch Brothers, family and first responder owned.

M.M.

LaFleur, for women by women.

Additional funding provided by Home Carpet One, Newbie, High5 Sports, Grand Appliance and TV.

- Sometimes silence is survival, but today we learn about the power of speaking up.

Awakening the soul of our story.

- Come for the stories, stay for the heart.

You - Might recognize a new look.

We are ready to take things to the next - Level.

Whitney's here to share your dream.

It's the Whitney Reynolds show.

- I'mwatching the Whitney Reynolds Show.

- Real voice is real lives in every episode.

This is the Whitney Reynolds Show.

- Meet Kevin Boehme, entrepreneur and restaurateur who appears to have it all.

Success, acclaim, and influence.

Yet today we take a deeper look into his story as he reflects on a childhood shape by instability and how those early experiences and past traumas nearly brought him to his breaking point.

But through vulnerability and courage, he shares his story and has found healing.

Welcome to the show.

Thank you.

You have stepped into owning your story.

- Tried to.

- Yeah.

And I love that you say tried to because that is one of those things of the viewer sometimes thinks when people come to our set, they've arrived.

But I love that you're still saying I'm a work in progress.

- 100% a work in progress, but there came a point in my life where I hit rock bottom.

And rock bottom's a gift if you can survive it.

- When did you know I'm at the lowest I've been?

- Well, you know when you wake up and something bad just happened to you and you have this like three or four second reprieve from remembering that it happened?

I woke up on a ledge in Los Angeles in kind of a flop sweat and I didn't get that reprieve.

I knew something terrible had happened the night before and I'd almost killed myself.

I stood on the ledge ready to jump, took my hands off even to jump and my phone rang and startled me and I jumped down.

And coming out of that hotel room that night, I just decided, okay, I've been ambitious about business my whole life.

I'm going to be ambitious about myself for a while.

- People would have said you had it all.

- Yeah.

- Was that a facade?

- 100%.

100%.

- Professionally, Kevin Boehme is known as one of the most influential names in hospitality, but today we're setting the titles aside.

Behind the business success is a man who faced failure, uncertainty, and moments that forced him to take an honest look at himself.

- I've been a bipolar denier for a long time in my life.

And when you look at my family, on my father's side, my grandmother committed suicide, my aunt committed suicide, my mom was bipolar, my mom's mom was bipolar.

- But you are hitting on something that we don't always talk about our mental health.

- Barely ever.

Because especially growing up, we probably grew up around the same time, nobody talked about it.

We didn't want to talk about it.

- Yes, we do.

And when we're talking about your family dynamics, this is something that also very much shaped your life and your future.

- Yes.

- Walk our viewers back through this fake family you though you had.

- My mom was one of 14 kids who grew up on a farm in North Michigan and had about as bad of a childhood as you could have.

Farm labor at age six, Beaten by her dad, sexually abused by a relative, got away to high school and said, "I'm going to be valedictorian in this high school and I'm never going to come back to Roscommon, Michigan."

And that's what she did.

And she got away to college and she goes, "I'm going to marry the first nice guy that I meet."

My mom was a doll.

She's beautiful.

And a guy sat down next to her in the cafeteria, four months later at age 18, she's married to him.

On her wedding night, he's screaming at her and she's like, "Oh no, I don't even know this guy."

And so she strapped into what she thought was a miserable life, answered now in the paper, went to work for an ex-professional boxer who'd become a motivational speaker.

He was 51, she was 24.

They had a passionate affair.

She got pregnant.

She went back to the guy she was married to and said, "I'm going to leave you."

And he said, "I'll commit suicide if you leave."

Her Protestant girl got the best friend she stayed.

Baby comes out.

His name fraudulently goes in the birth certificate.

- That's you.

- That's me.

And when I came out, nobody told me he wasn't my dad and he hated my guts.

And so when I was 18, I was in the same place my mom was.

I signed everybody's yearbook in Springfield, Illinois, see you back here never.

- See you back here never.

And - Then three days before I go away to college, an old man takes me out to breakfast and says, "I have a story to tell you."

- In that moment, do you think that was one of those, when we think about rock bottom, one of those places you lost your footing?

- Yeah.

For the next couple years I lost my footing a little bit, but it gave me permission to take chances that I normally wouldn't have taken.

- I love your vulnerability because it's one that you had to own all this.

You literally had to say, "This is me," and you took it a step further because it's so easy to keep that list private.

- Yeah.

Well, I flipped it from protecting the image for so long and then not caring about it.

And that's what that room did.

It was like, "Well, if the alternative is death, then who cares?"

Right?

- Right.

- And so who cares who this avatar is and this thing that you built?

Let's figure out who you really are and be the best person that you could possibly be and whatever's left is left and I can build it back up.

- And with this healing journey, what made you want to write a book?

- I had written a story about my mom and Esquire printed it and a book agent had seen it and I had a meeting with him and he's like, "Give me some book ideas."

And all my book ideas were like hospitality ideas.

And he goes, "Got anything more personal?"

And I was like, "Boy, do I."

And I told him that story and he goes, "That's your fricking book, kid."

- What do you hope people take away from your story?

- Meet with a therapist.

I don't care where you're at in your life.

Your relationship with your therapist is different than any relationship you're ever going to have in your entire life because they're not there to like you.

You're trying to win - Them over.

- You're not trying to win them over.

You go in there and you tell the truth, and if you tell the truth, they can help you.

- I'm so proud of you for speaking your truth.

Thanks.

Because it's one of those things that not only will heal your soul, but helps so many of our viewers.

Well, thank you so much for coming on.

- My pleasure.

Thank you.

- We've been talking about the topic when silence stops protecting and this play itself.

There are so many secrets going on that just end up spiraling.

Oh yeah.

Tell us a little bit about the theme.

- Yeah.

I mean, I think the theme for Daisy is so interesting because everyone is very well known with the book.

And in the book, Daisy is very silenced.

We don't actually hear very much from her, but our book writer when writing the musical, Kate Kerrigan, she brought so much more to Daisy to the table and you get to see so much more of her personality.

You get to see more of her best friend, Jordan, that whole conversation they have, it doesn't even exist in the book.

It's not even a scene that exists.

And so I love that she gave these characters agency and reason to make all these choices that they make throughout the story, which I think is so beautiful.

- And when a voice finally comes forward, everything shifts.

How emotional is it for you when you're playing one of those roles that you know is really tugging on the hearts of the audience?

- It's so hard.

It's so hard.

And I think sometimes people don't realize it when they come and watch, because it's one thing to come and watch one show, but I think what people don't think about is that we do it eight times a week.

Sometimes we do it twice a day.

And so getting into that mindset every day, it's very hard.

It's very challenging.

And I talk about it with my castmates all the time and we're kind of always there for each other.

After the really hard scenes, we give each other a little high five in the wings and we're - Like, - "Okay, the moment's over."

And we're not in that moment anymore.

And so we have a really good support system here to kind of get through those really hard themes that the show does have.

- Well, you're touching on something that I think people forget because when you are an actor, you do have to live in those moments of death, betrayal, all these different things.

How do you mentally prepare for that?

- I think, at least for me, I know every actor kind of deals with it in their own way, but for me, I really just like to put myself in their shoes and put myself in that scenario.

And for me as Daisy, I think during the show, what would I do if the love of my life showed up five years later out of the blue?

I'm already married to someone else.

I like to joke around that this is kind of like Withering Heights meets the notebook kind of story when people don't really know what Gatsby is about.

And it really is about that lost love and it's like, what do you do?

- What do you do when the truth no longer stays quiet?

On this topic of owning your story and all these different chapters, you are a daughter of immigrants.

What has it been like owning this stage and this moment for you as you?

- I mean, it means so much.

I grew up watching theater and I grew up watching tours in the Bay Area and there wasn't always people that looked like me on stage.

And to come from a family who doesn't usually do musical theater, you know everyone on my parents' side, my dad was born and raised in Afghanistan.

My mom was born and raised in the Philippines.

All of them are either doctors, lawyers, or nurses.

And so for me to do theater is very out of the realm of what my family does.

I made this deal with my parents.

I though I was going to go into pre-med, but I made a deal with them that I would apply to one theater school.

It was NYU.

And if I got in, I would have to do theater.

And I got into NYU.

And so I was like, sorry, I have to do theater now.

But I, I love it and I couldn't imagine my life going any other way.

But it really does mean so much to be able to represent other people who also want to do this, but they didn't really grow up in households where it felt like it was a job and a normal thing to want to aspire to do.

Now I, I really can't imagine myself doing anything else.

- Our next guest has faced a lot in his life, but he developed a motto and doesn't want to keep that silent.

Welcome to the show.

- Thank you, Whitney.

- One thing that really caught our attention when we saw your story is you said you were in a support group for pain and what you were going through.

- Intense chronic nerve pain can be very lonely.

Nobody really understands.

And so to connect with other people that can really understand at a deep level what you're experiencing is something kind of magical.

- But you joined originally because you were, I would say, living the dream.

Yes.

Silicon Valley, in tech, married, kids, traveling around the world, and you walk off the golf course and you feel this pain.

- Yeah.

Instantly, just one day out of the blue, all of sudden the side of my face started to burn and it got worse and worse over time and it became a piercing sensation in my temple, almost like an ice pick to the side of the head.

Our kids were young at that time.

I had a lot of reasons to live, but I really need to figure out how and how do I move forward?

How can I connect with other people that can help me?

- When you went through your journey with this nerve pain, you decided to attack on it.

- I took an aggressive, offensive approach.

In the end, we actually fixed a few things, but it actually made a few things permanent.

And so then you're just left like, I need to find a way to live.

- You're living with this pain and then you find out you have stage four cancer.

- We found out from day one it was too many lesions to count right out of the gate, which usually you have a tumor or you have it spread and there's a few, but there was already just way too many to count.

The initial doctor made me sit down, made my wife come sit down in person.

So not telehealth, but come into the office and deliver the news that I need to get my affairs in order and most likely we're at the end.

- He was a thriving tech executive when his life changed overnight with a diagnosis of trigeminal neuralgia.

Multiple brain surgeries, relentless pain, and a stage four cancer diagnosis followed.

But instead of giving up, he chose to fight, rebuild, and redefine what living well truly means.

- Even myself, I'm still at the edge of the cliff and watch pebbles go down and think maybe I had a good run, this is the end.

I'm going to be a big burden on everyone for the rest of my life.

Maybe this is it.

And then I just got an overwhelming feeling that, well, wait a minute, maybe I could help other people.

- Right.

And the strength that you've had with your chronic pain gave you more strength when you got your diagnosis.

- Yes.

I had been taking notes and trying different strategies and trying to learn how to figure out how to live for years when we learned of that the cancer had spread throughout my body.

I felt like I kind of already had a head start on this and that maybe my purpose was to help others learn to live around incurable, chronic, unpleasant conditions, especially if there was a way to reach out to the people that are giving up.

I really had to dig deep and think, how do I want to be or what do I need to be to get through this?

- And now you're four years into the diagnosis and you're still here and you're still inspiring others.

What made you want to be that voice?

Because you said something like people that are living with pain or a diagnosis that says it's incurable.

How did you choose that positive mindset?

- Well, I felt like if I'm doing this for myself, I already learned that there are others that are lonely and that are trying to reach out for help.

Maybe I should try and help them.

It's actually been healing for me.

The more I help, the more I heal, which, so now I better get up and do a whole bunch of good today.

- I love that.

Through it all, his mission became simple.

Be kind and help others.

Turn your pain into purpose and use your story to light the way for someone else still searching for hope.

And the path forward really for you has been one that is acknowledging where you are, but saying, "Hey, I'm going to keep moving forward."

- Yeah.

- How did you get that grit to do that?

Because it seems very difficult, especially when you're in pain and it looks like there's no hope to really dig deep.

- Yeah.

I mean, I would love to say that there's like a switch you could turn on, but there is no simple path.

I mean, my path was years of giving up, self-pity, all the negative emotions, living in that downward spiral that nobody else understands, working through all that.

And then I just felt like, okay, maybe they can't understand and it's my purpose to try and get out there and share my story and help other people learn to find a way.

I think if I could give you advice or anyone advice, it would be become your own scientist.

Go try things that work for you.

And so for me, I found around the strength.

I'm not saying you can be the wellest person in the world, but you could probably do something to be a little more well, right?

I love - That.

- And then along the way, be kind, especially to yourself.

And if you can learn to deal with unpleasantness and still be kind, that's a huge win for the entire world.

- Well, thank you so much for coming on.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

Thank you, Whitney.

- And now we sit down with director and producer, Bart Leighton, who brings hidden stories to life.

I - Think I really consciously wanted to bring a certain kind of movie back that I felt maybe we've had less and less of in cinemas.

And I think in a nutshell, that is probably like a real rollercoaster ride.

You are absolutely on the edge of your seat.

You've got all of that kind of adrenaline.

You've got great action sequences, you've got.

But, but I think fundamentally real emotional connection with the characters.

- I came here to make your business proposition.

I've worked at the same - Company for 11 years.

Your VP when you should be a partner.

Those high value items your company ensures, - I occasionally make them disappear, - But no one - Gets heard.

- At the center of the story is a man shaped by a difficult past, a life spent hiding from where he came from until the truth demands to be seen.

- All of the characters' identities are really based in research, you know, of the people who really do that job for a living.

And there are dual thieves out there and you can speak to them.

You - Actually interviewed people that have done this type of stuff.

- Yeah, because I, it might not be everyone's process.

Were they from, - Were they in prison?

- Yes.

- Oh, they - Weren't?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So the good ones are probably not in prison, and then there are obviously ones who, who are in - - When I was getting frustrated in the movie, I wanted to tell his real story.

I wanted him to say, "This is who I am.

This is where I come from."

For this character, redemption begins the moment that silence ends.

With that, the silence stopped protecting and he had to walk into his truth and eventually own it.

- My background in docs, I suppose, has taught me is that if you can really create a connection to the characters because you, you can see that they have flaws a bit like we do then I think you're in for the ride in a different way.

You are more.

Your heart rate changes as the heart rates of the characters change.

And that for me is like the, that's the goal, I think.

- Throughout his career, Bart Leighton has told stories that sit in uncomfortable spaces where truth and humanity meet.

- One of the things that all of the cast said is, you know, like Bart is relentless in his pursuit of like truthfulness.

And I suppose if you've made a lot of documentaries, you're not, you're not tr - you know, there is a performance element, but you're just trying to capture the truth.

So you have a very keen eye for it.

And then with, with fiction and with actors, you're trying to kind of manufacture a truth that's recognizable.

And if you, and if I'm looking at it and I don't believe it, well, you're not going to believe it either, right?

Right.

So it's that kind of eye for like reality and authenticity.

- What do you hope the viewers leave with on some of these deeper big messages?

- I really hope that you get everything you want from a cracking eye out of the cinema, right?

That you get all of those things that you, you know, there were those movies, whether they were the '70s, '80s, '90s, or like collateral, heat, you know, all of these great experiences we had.

I want to make sure people get that.

But I also, if I'm successful as a filmmaker, you've got some other layers to think about.

And in this case, you know, there's conversations about the wealth divide, and especially in LA, that's a chasm and it's getting deeper and wider all the time.

And also, you know, these questions of status anxiety, you know, of like how much as individuals are we doing because we want everyone to see us as a success.

And so we feel like if we have the car and the house and the great clothes and the.

Then maybe we will feel like we're of value because other people will think, "Oh, look, she's really made it.

He's made it."

- And when people speak their truth, stories have the power to come full circle, not just on screen, but in real life.

Well, that's why I walked away with not only like being on the edge of my seat being like, okay, now I'm into these type of movies, but I also loved the love line in it.

Yeah.

I don't want to give too much away.

We want people to watch it.

Yeah.

But it did, the day after, get me really thinking about the humanity aspect in that movie.

- Yeah.

I'm so happy to hear you say that.

I mean, there's so much which is kind of for everyone.

- Well, thank you so much.

- My pleasure.

- Today's guest didn't just inspire me.

It challenged me.

And here's my takeaway.

Sometimes silence feels safe.

Like a calm river, it can look peaceful from the shore.

We convince ourselves that staying quiet will keep things simple, avoid conflict, or protect the people around us.

Recently, I took my twins kayaking.

After a stretch of storms, from where we stood, the river looked calm.

What we couldn't see were the twist ahead, a fallen tree we had to duck under, a surprise rain shower, and the constant counting of bridges so we'd know where to get out.

Add in a few requests for bathroom breaks, and it quickly became an adventure.

Life works that way too.

What we don't address doesn't disappear.

It simply waits for us around the next bend.

By the end of our two-mile trip, we were soaked, laughing, and making memories we'll talk about for years.

The obstacles weren't what defined the journey.

They were part of it.

Wisdom is knowing when silence gives us peace, and when it simply keeps us from moving forward, the bravest thing we can do isn't drift with the current, is finding our voice and steer.

Sometimes we think silence is meant to protect us, and it often can help us heal.

But what we learned from today's guest is it's not meant to last forever.

And when we own our stories, we can help those around us.

Remember, your story matters.

- The Whitney Reynolds Show is supported by Kevin O'Connor Law Firm.

When it comes to your injuries, we take it personally.

Together at Peace Foundation, remembrance, resilience, and comfort creating a hopeful space for those who are grieving.

The C. Thomas Group, residential real estate investment and advisory.

The Respiratory Health Association, clean air and healthy lungs for all.

JoePerillo.com, where you can browse their selection of pre-owned vehicles.

Joe Perillo is based in Chicago and ships all over the country.

Children's Learning Place, a school for our earliest learners dedicated to aiding every child with the power of learning.

And West Real Estate Group, providing multifamily investment in property management services.

The Couch Brothers, family and first responder owned.

M.M.

LaFleur for Women by Women.

Additional funding provided by Home Carpet One, Nuvie, I5 Sports, Brand Appliance and TV.

- All episodes are available for streaming anytime.

I love me.